David Letterman’s “Top Ten Signs You Spend Too Much Time on Twitter”

10. You miss your son’s soccer game waiting for Lady Gaga to post what she had for lunch.

9. You answer the phone: “Twello?”

8: You’ve spent millions developing iPhone waterproofing technology so you can Tweet in the shower.

7. You haven’t touched your CB radio in months.

6. You ask yourself, “What would Jesus Tweet?”

5. You sleep tweet.

4. No number 4 — writer on Twitter.

3. You stopped paying attention to this list after the first 140 characters.

2. Even Ashton Kutcher thinks you tweet too much.

1. You walked in on the landscaper retweeting your wife.

Here’s Mindy Kaling trying to explain Twitter to Dave:

…and don’t miss: You know you are too popular on Twitter when…

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